Do you enjoy cheating on your spouse? If so, why?

There’s so much more to it, but that was the core issue that led me down the path I took. When I cheated, it wasn’t about love or forming relationships. It was purely for the physical release, the excitement, and the temporary escape from the frustration and rejection I felt at home.

Everyone has their own definition of “physical needs” and how much intimacy is necessary to feel fulfilled. For me, I only needed intimacy about twice a month to feel satisfied and connected. But that didn’t happen. It stopped after the first year of marriage. By year six, I had enough. It felt like she had flipped a switch, turning off her desire completely. I started to believe that I had been tricked into marrying her, with sex as the bait. And now, it seemed, she had run out of it.

After years of discussions, suggestions, ideas, books, and marriage counseling, our sex life dwindled to nothing, and my needs were left unmet.

Do you suck dicks with no reciprocation?

Counselors and books always say that intimacy is a barometer of how a relationship is going overall. The problem was, my wife kept insisting how great our life and marriage were. We had a nice house, cars, our kids were in good schools—everything seemed fine on the surface. But to me, the lack of physical connection was a glaring deficiency. It wasn’t just about sex; it was about feeling wanted, needed, and loved.

During this time, I started turning to porn and masturbation to cope with the lack of intimacy. Once, I even fell asleep afterward, spread out on our bed. My wife “caught” me and, instead of understanding, she scolded and humiliated me when I admitted what I had done. That felt like one of the final straws.

What frustrated me even more was that I had to initiate everything, every single time. I was always the one making the effort—lighting candles, playing soft music, giving foot rubs—only to be met with indifference. It was exhausting to constantly have to suggest or ask for intimacy, trying not to come across as a pervert. The way she avoided the issue when I gently brought it up was almost comical; she’d act like a shy little girl, avoiding eye contact as if the conversation was too much for her to handle. And everything had to be perfect for there to be even a chance— the house spotless, the mood just right. Even then, it would happen maybe one time out of five.

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I didn’t leave her because, financially, we were stretched beyond our means. We both wanted the best opportunities for our two kids. We lived in a great school district, with a high standard of living. I knew that if we divorced, the financial strain would impact our children’s future. They wouldn’t have had the same opportunities to develop and thrive if we were broke, bankrupt, and living apart due to the cost of divorce and divided assets.

To all the women reading this, I’m sure the bashing will begin. But you wanted an honest answer, and this is it. I’m not saying it was ‘right,’ but it is the truth. Yes, it was shameful behavior. If I could go back, I’d choose differently. I would have chosen divorce. And if I could go back even further, I wouldn’t have married her in the first place.